faux_james_bond_bk_pq faux_james_bond_bk_pt faux_james_bond_bk_stk
Full Name: Faux James Bond
Nationality: British
Organization: None
Occupation Other - Unknown

Creator: William P. Lazarus
Time Span: 2019 - 2020


Faux James Bond is a faux freelance agent.

Okay, not really on two levels.

One, that is not the man's real name, obviously. What that could be, though, is not known as he never tells because when he identifies himself, it is always as "Bond, James Bond". And no one who had encountered him has yet found out any more of the truth other than, again obviously, he is not really James Bond. He just thinks he is. Really, he does.

Two, since he is not the not-so-secret agent he pretends to be, he is not really any kind of agent, freelance or otherwise. I give him the faux occupation of freelance to fit what he seems to be acting as. He does act like he is on assignment, though he is quick to tell people that he is no longer with his former employer, Universal Exports, for various security reasons.

In his state of identity-confusion, the man at first acts as though he has never heard of the movies about the famous spy but later is very familiar with them and even quotes lines from one or two. Whether he knows them or not, he never sees to waver in his self-assurance in any conversation that may challenge his identity or mock it.

One person he would work closely with would note he looked "vaguely like Pierce Brosnan but taller and not as handsome". He walked with "an athletic gait", seemingly to "glide" at times across the room. He is said to be in excellent physical shape and "certainly mastered the Bond sneer, which make him appear as though everyone else in the world suffered from halitosis".

"He seemed pleasant, but there was something a bit cruel in his mouth. His taut face was enhanced by a small scar high on his right cheek". "He had been around despite his youthful appearance. Small lines edged across his forehead with the beginning of crow's feet around his cold, crystal blue eyes. A swatch of hair hung down the right side of his face." 

Each of the occurrences where he shows up is different from the others but for the fact that once he does arrive and starts to ask questions, his knack for actually uncovering some pretty nasty schenanigans is amazing and the situation is certainly about to get quite dangerous.


Number of Books:3
First Appearance:2019
Last Appearance:2020

1 Porn Queen Porn Queen
Written by William P. Lazarus
Copyright: 2019

"Bond? James Bond?
He couldn't be James Bond, and probably wasn't.
Unfortunately for Police Sgt. McConnell, the mystery man believes he is the legendary secret agent, and he can't be dismissed with a shaken-not-stirred vodka martini and a pat on the head. 
He has information regarding a murder, and he won't reveal anything unless she plays along. But things get serious when "Bond" starts taking chances with their lives - and the culprits are playing for keeps."
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2 Past Tense Past Tense
Written by William P. Lazarus
Copyright: 2019

"Lisa Chandler gave no thought to a pick-up truck’s dangerous hide-and-seek game until the driver produces a shotgun. Soon, she is involved in something more complicated and deadly than a mere road-rage incident — especially when a slick gentleman, claiming to be “James Bond” follows her home, and her life begins to unravel. A cat-and-mouse game ensues across Volusia County with deadly stakes."
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3 Set To Kill Set To Kill
Written by William P. Lazarus
Copyright: 2020

"Her career as a Hollywood sex symbol slowly waning, actress Nayeli Fortune finds herself cast as the prime suspect in a murder off the set. Then, a man calling himself James Bond shows up to really turn up the light, camera, action in a small Florida community where even Russian tourists invite suspicion. The stage is set for beach bimbo chaos in this light-hearted murder mystery."
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From the moment I saw this series and snatched the two books available (and then the third), I knew I was going to add a page for it. I then considered whether to just make it a pastiche entry on the "real" James Bond page. That did not last long, though, and I was back to having a separate page but what to call the character? He was not James Bond so listing him as such would be wrong. But we have no other name for him and he is referred to as Bond throughout each of the adventures. Certainly I could, and did, list it under the series name given us by the author/publisher ("Adventures in Bonding") but what to put in the "Full Name" line? I did the best I could.

This is a fun, fun, series that could not take itself seriously, of course, and does not but it is could and does make sure that the reader has a very enjoyable time in this man's universe.


My Grade: B


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