GEORGE DREME

George Dreme is an assassin for the CIA.

He has been one for over a decade when we first meet him. In our introduction, we learn that he has been a paid killer, a very well paid one, for about fifteen years. Ever since he left college, which puts him around in his late 30's during the times we follow him. One interesting aspect of this is that we do not learn right away that he is working for the Agency because, well, he didn't know. We learn when he learns when some of their agents try to kill him. You would have thought someone would have mentioned it before. Need to know, I reckon.

Dreme is very good at what he does and he is well paid for his work. He charges $100,000 per contract and he averages around six jobs a year, making his income quite respectable even if his way of earning it was not so good. He tells us that when he started this line of work he really didn't need the money but he found that he was very good at it and that he actually, sort of enjoyed it.

Except for the blood and gore and mess that often accompanied the killing. Too many chances for contacting germs. Dreme does not like germs. Of any sort at any time. Germs were constantly trying to kill him by carrying all manner of nasty diseases. Dreme is forever getting the latest and greatest disease and he does not appreciate that. Dreme is, if you haven't guessed it by now, a major hypochondriac but he would not admit it. To him he is really very sick. All the time. And always something new.

Dreme has a handler for his contracts and has had that handler for almost his entire time as a contract killer. 'Little Tyke' is his nickname for her. He gave it to her because she sounds like one. "Little Tyke was a little kid, or at least the voice of a little girl-sounding about 7 or 8 years old. Funny, because even though I had been receiving these phone calls for at least 10 years, her voice always stayed the same. Never aged. Undoubtedly computer-generated but it sure sounded lifelike. Hearing a little girl telling you to murder someone is beyond creepy."

Little Tyke may sound like a little girl but he/she is all business and while appreciative about his success, not so pleased with the amount of work needed to clean up some of Dreme's messes. "Do you have any idea how much cleanup we have to do when you take your little trips? ... I'm like the guy with a shovel following the elephant in the circus."

I swear that after following George Dreme and his hypochondria, I started to get worried about my health as well. I mean, as he frets about this door-handle or that counter-top or that person's sneezing or random coughs in crowded rooms, it's enough to make any person wonder.

These adventures, four at this writing, are very fast, very funny reads. Rather short which I definitely prefer because they do not drag on at all, they are almost novellas but as I say, I liked that.

They are full to the brim with humor. Dreme relates the stories to us and his writing is filled with his funny observations. They lean towards the sarcastic a lot though I would never say that to his face because, well, he kills people for a living.

These stories are jam-packed with zany situations and crazy characters that are a hoot to meet and watch deal with Dreme who is

a pretty interesting fellow. Not someone I would hang out with, of course, because he worries about everything all the time. And he also kills people.