COOL MCCOOL

Cool McCool is an agent with Secret, Inc.

That organization appears to be an international anti-crime organization dedicated to fighting some pretty inventive and quite resourceful arch-villains who routinely use phenomenal means to carry off their outrageous and highly illegal activities. Secret, Inc. is run by a man of mystery himself who goes only by the tile of Number One and whom we never, ever see except for glimpses of his limbs as he sits in a large office chair smoking a cigar and having to deal with the actions of Cool McCool.

McCool is a tall, thin, supposedly handsome operative with slightly longish wavy black hair who sports a full wiry mustache. This last piece of body hair is interesting in that it also, apparently, is hooked up somehow to be a telephone that he can use on occasion to talk with Number One.

McCool, like all good secret agents of the time, has his own theme music. His comes with lyrics:

Ohhhhh
Double O.
C-double O.
C-double O-L.
C-double O-L Mc.
Cool, Mc Cool.
Danger is his business.
The Owl is flying high, frightening to the eye.
The Rattler is nearby, Cool is on the fly.
Danger is his business.
Madcap's back in town, yeah bought Cool a crown.
Boxes are a-poppin', Cool is kept a-hoppin'.
Danger is his business.
That's Hurricane Harry, with all the wind he can carry.
Oh that cool's the coolest, Danger is my business.

That last stanza is one of McCool's catchphrases which he loves to utter. Danger is, indeed, his business.

McCool would like the world to know how he, dressed routinely in his full-length yellow trenchcoat and armed with an amazing amount of super neat weaponry, defends that planet from the various super-bad guys and does so with aplomb and style and ease. He doesn't but he would like it thought.

Unfortunately for Number One, McCool is the epitome of ineptness who bungles just about everything he tries. Fortunately for the people of the world, McCool is probably the luckiest person alive and he somehow manages to fall (sometimes literally) into success.

His incompetence notwithstanding, McCool is at heart a very nice guy and when he accidentally blows up his boss or his assistant, Breezy, he is invariably sorry and wants to make amends. Unfortunately, his acts of contrition and assistance usually exacerbates the problem, though he does mitigate the situation with a heartfelt promise of "This will never happen again, Number One" (though it usually does).

While McCool has an assortment of very nifty weapons and gadgets, created mostly by a chap named appropriately 'Riggs', none can top his super-awesome Coolmobile. I really could use a vehicle like that.

The super-bad guys that McCool has to deal with really number five, at least based on the adventures we have. The Owl is a fellow who enjoys the company of birds and can control them to help in his illegal activities. The Rattler is a human who resembles in many ways a snake (hence his nickname) complete with a practice of hissing. Dr. Madcap has a penchant for wearing and using hats of all shapes and sizes and most of them have surprises in them. Hurricane Harry is a super-villain with the ability to suck and blow really hard. Jack-In-The-Box is a trickster who loves to spring out of literally a box to startle and rob people.

Considering how powerful these adversaries are and how bungling McCool can be, it is a wonder the planet survives!

I was 14 when this show came out. While I am certain I saw it on television a time or two because my younger siblings might have been watching, I would never had spent any time viewing it myself because I had aged out by then - there were girls out in the real world!

Watching a couple of episodes now, I still have no interest in this show but I am impressed at times with how much adultness was able to creep into the designed-for-children episodes. There is a fair amount of undoubtedly satiric banter going on and the show does make for a good parody of crime and spy shows of the time.

I did get a kick out of the 'mystery' of the voice of Cool McCool. Watching these episodes just now, I really struggled to place the person McCool sounded like. It was there - just on the edge of my brain just out of reach. Luckily I believe it was the entry in Wikipedia that answered my question. Legendary entertainer Jack Benny was the person being imitated. Oh, yeah, now I hear it!